You Can Still Be Cute & Wear Your Garments

My story is a pretty short one but I need to tell it so you understand the point of this whole section of my blog and the direction I’m going to go with it. I’m not really going to get into what garments are because this link explains it best and this post is mostly just for me to explain my own journey with them to people who know what they are and either wear them or are preparing to wear them.

Growing up I used to argue and kick at the imaginary fence my dad put up regarding my wardrobe all the time. I was relentless. All I wanted was to wear clothes that were considered “immodest” by my church’s and parents’ standards. I grew up in northern California so it was what my friends were wearing and I just wanted to fit in and feel cute. I did not see anything wrong with wearing shorts or tank tops. It was normal to me. My friends that wore them were still good people. What they wore didn’t change who they were. So it just didn’t make sense to me. 

To give a better idea for those who aren’t familiar with the term “modesty”, here’s a snippet of the standards regarding modesty as outlined by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet:

“Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to “glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit ...Revealing and sexually suggestive clothing, which includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, and shirts that do not cover the stomach, can stimulate desires and actions that violate the Lord’s law of chastity.”

Pretty straight forward and yes, I get it. Those kinds of clothes are considered sexy and we’re trying to save ourselves for marriage. But what girl doesn’t want to feel sexy? I GET THAT TOO.

I think the real issue was my mindset toward modesty and how I was raised to view my body and what I wore. These teachings were interpreted, translated, and taught to me as “I had to cover up to help boys control their thoughts.” My dad and stepmom said things like I would get myself raped if I wore booty shorts and they always noticed and audibly judged the HELL out of any girl they saw, member or not, that was showing some shoulder or any skin above the knee. They made me feel like dressing a certain way would make me lose my virginity without my own consent and my appearance was the only thing that would attract a guy. 

Mini tangent: When I raise my daughter, I don’t want her to think that she has to cover up just to help a boy control his thoughts! I don’t want her to think that she is responsible for someone else’s actions. Because she’s not. I want to raise her to be so confident in herself and her personal relationship with God that she knows she doesn’t need to show skin to be desirable. But my dad and stepmom scared and guilted me to the point that when I was out of the house and able to wear whatever I wanted, their voices haunted me when I put on a pair of shorts and I second guessed it every time. So, even though I was on my own and usually dressing how I was “supposed to” by my church’s standards, I still wasn’t doing it for the right reasons. It was all still fear-based. 

Fast forward to when I decided to serve a mission. Before I made the decision I went through some really hard things that I’ll talk about later on in this blog that brought me extremely close to God. That’s when my mindset started to change. I was able to differentiate between people and the Gospel. People aren’t perfect but the Gospel is and I started living it because I wanted to - without the fear of what would happen to me if I didn’t. I kept commandments because I loved God and was willing to do what He wanted because I realized I owed Him everything for saving me - from a terrible relationship, from crazy parents, etc. I was so grateful.

When I went through the temple for the first time to receive my endowment, I knew I was making some very important promises to God but I definitely didn’t fully understand what everything meant, the magnitude of the commitment I had made, or how sacred garments are. It wasn’t until my mission that I really learned this.

There is a missionary handbook which contains all the rules missionaries are to follow and operate under while serving a mission. We read a couple pages from it daily. This is the section that talks about dress and garments. This is what helped me to understand. 

“Wearing the temple garment is the sacred privilege of those who have taken upon themselves the covenants of the temple. The garment is a constant reminder of these cov- enants. When properly worn, it provides protection against temptation and evil. Endowed members should wear the garment both night and day, according to the instructions given in the endowment. You should not adjust the garment or wear it contrary to instructions in order to fit different styles of clothing, even when such clothing may be generally accepted. The garment should never be left on the floor.…As you carefully follow these principles, you will be guided by the Holy Spirit in considering your personal commitment to wear the garment. This sacred covenant is between you and the Lord, and the proper wearing of the garment is an outward expression of your inner commitment to follow the Savior, Jesus Christ.”

Wearing my garments is a literal expression of how I feel toward my Savior???? I honestly don’t think I would’ve ever fully realized that if I hadn’t served a mission and read this. It just clicked and suddenly, wearing my garments became non-negotiable. (Obviously other than when I’m in a swimsuit or working out) 

Fast forward to after the mission. I came home and tried to figure out what I even liked to wear anymore. I developed a taste and preference and started drawing inspo from a few different influencers. I liked a few different styles but obviously couldn’t wear all of them. It was annoying but I was used to it.The influencers I followed that were LDS and dressed super cute too made it a lot easier. They pretty much set the trends even among nonmembers and I felt empowered. They made me feel like I could still be cute and wear my garments. It sounds ridiculous but it helped to know that they shared my same values and love for fashion as well. However, as time went on, I noticed that garments began to be optional for a lot of them. Suddenly I didn’t have my one stop shops for garment-friendly fashion inspo to rely on anymore haha. I still liked and appreciated their content but I just couldn’t wear most of it. I don’t know all of their situations but as a consumer I got pretty frustrated and discouraged. So I started having to pull bits and pieces from various influencing sources and got good at making tweaks. I have my go-to places that I shop now where I usually can find super cute, unintentionally garment-friendly options and am always adding to the list. I have to admit, I think I do a pretty good job ;) But I’ll also admit wearing garments is definitely not always easy. But it is WORTH IT. To know you’re doing the right thing and that God literally HAS to bless you for it is worth it. 

I started talking to friends and discovered I definitely wasn’t alone in my feelings, struggles, or frustrations. Then I realized there were probably LOTS of other girls who felt the same way. So, this section of my blog is for those girls. I want to be a resource and show that you can still be cute and wear your garments. I will only be posting outfits and inspo or suggest tweaks that work with garments on here. And at the end of the day, if you’re endowed too, it’s up to you what you decide to do but know that I’ll be here to help. We are in this together <3

Small disclaimer for the people that I know will take this to the next level: I wear crop tops but I wear them with high waisted jeans so my stomach doesn’t show. Because it is a crop top, though, sometimes my garments show when I bend over or raise my arms. It might look a little weird for a second but I don’t really care. I figure they’re online for the world to see so it’s no different to me if people see them peeking out from under my clothes. In my opinion, all that matters is that I’m wearing them. Also, any looks I ever share will usually never include any shade shirts. Because I don’t wear them. I don’t like layering and I don’t like when it looks like my clothes were altered or made modest on purpose. I stick to the current trends and pull from them what can be worn appropriately with garments. You will look like a normal person. No one will ever know ;) 

Xxx,

Sam

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

Mosiah 2:41